Honesty
by Kuri333
Summary: Being honest with themselves... Just another N. Tonks/R. Lupin short tale, canon.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, not the places or most of the circumstances described here. *Sigh***

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If he was to be honest with himself, he would have to admit he had had at first a hard time to imagine someone like her as an Auror. Somehow her teasing mood, her clumsiness and her air of lightheaded cheerfulness was at odds with the idea he had of what a dark wizard catcher should be.

He had even felt slightly irritated by the excitement she would put on being part of the Order, as if it was the most thrilling of games instead of what it really was, a life threatening fight. Nonetheless and despite whatever ideas he could have made about her, they were part of something bigger now and they would have to work together.

Truth to be told, he might had never get to know her at all if it has not been for Sirius. He was, after all, her cousin and she had not seen him in a very long time due to the fact that he had spent many years in prison, and then several months on the run. It was therefore natural for her to want to know him better. Therefore it was often that she would stay after meetings at number 12 Grimmauld Place, talking to him.

Since he was living at headquarters at the time too, he had found himself taking to both of them and really enjoying not only Sirius' comments to which he was long accustom, but also the sharp, surprisingly mature and witty remarks of the small pink-haired witch.

Now that he was being honest, he had to admit that without realising it, he started paying closer attention to her, not only while sharing stories and Butterbeers late at night but specially during meetings and missions. Her opinions were usually to be taken in consideration, she was original and creative when a solution was needed and he found himself more often than not too eager to hear what she had to say on a determinate subject.

He realised then that it was not only him who had been looking at her differently later. She had won the respect of the Order members, despite her ever changing hairstyle or her clumsiness which now he found very endearing.

To be honest, he found himself thinking about her much more than what was strictly necessary.

The full moon was approaching and he would have to hide while he transformed into that creature that had nothing to do with his real human self. He wondered if she would notice his absence and as he was putting on the defensive charms that would keep him locked until his transformation would be over, he found himself hoping she would miss him.

For in his mind, to be perfectly honest, she had stopped been Sirius' younger relative or a fellow Order member for a while now. She was Nymphadora – a name he teasingly had taken to call her for he knew it infuriated her – someone he really enjoyed spending time with.

He had been shocked and a bit annoyed the next morning when Sirius had told him she knew about his condition. He just couldn't believe him assuring she was being nonchalant about it. Sirius had left him there then, pretending to read while on the inside he was aching to see her and find out what did she really thought of him being a werewolf.

Her light steps made him look up and the beautiful broad smile on her face told him that, honestly, everything was alright.

He'd became uncharacteristically bold after that and had taken every possible opportunity to be with her, to talk to her, to get closer to her.

Somehow their first kiss came in a natural way. What hadn't be natural at all had been the passion, the energy, the tenderness he had felt when his lips touched hers and every single moment after that. He could not believe that all those wonderful emotions, that that amazingly wonderful witch was actually willing to be with him.

Honestly, he could not remember a period in his life in which he had been happier.

-

He sighed deeply, looking at the sullen face framed by mousy-brown hair, and embraced himself to say the darkest of blasphemies ever.

"You are mistaken, Tonks. I don't love you."


	2. Chapter 2

If she had to be honest with herself – something really important in her opinion – she would have to admit that at the beginning she had not thought much about him. He was just another member of the Order of the Phoenix and as such, someone with whom she was going to work close by. Among the excitement of the fight, the thrill of being part of this special group, everything else got somehow lost. And that had been it.

Since she was being honest, she could also say that at the beginning she had thought his always composed manners were a bit dull but then, she had not given him that much thought as to be bother by them to begin with.

It has been Sirius the one member of the Order to catch her attention at first. After years of believing her mother's cousin had murdered a number of people and consequently had been sentenced to Azkaban, there he was, a runaway whose innocence couldn't be proved.

She remembered him coming to visit when she was a little girl, and she could still see him in her minds eye, handsome and careless, making fun of her hair and joking with her parents.

So, being bluntly honest, it had been a bit of a surprise to learn that his quiet man was Sirius' mate from Hogwarts days. She had found out to her amazement that they both had been rule breakers and troublemakers and that, given the adequate atmosphere, Lupin's eyes could twinkle with the same mischievous light she recognised in her own glance.

Now that she was being honest, learning that he was a werewolf did not bother her much. She had had time now to be familiar with him better so she realised he kept his condition under control. When she was told by Sirius the reason of Lupin's absence in that particular meeting at full moon she had been just a little disappointed she would not see him that night.

Because back then he had stopped being "just another member of the Order". She had started to know him and, being honest, she could not believe she had ever thought he was composed or even dull. While talking to him and Sirius after meetings she had noticed his witty sense of humour, his clever remarks, the deepness of his thoughts.

So, in her mind he wasn't Sirius' friend anymore, someone on the side of her interest, someone she worked with. Now he was Remus and she truly enjoyed every chance she had to talk to him.

She realised, mildly surprised, that the only difference of his being a werewolf made was that she would miss an opportunity to talk to him and see that sparkle in his eyes she had grown fond of.

To be perfectly honest it had been right after that full moon that something changed. The next time she entered the gloomy kitchen of headquarters and saw him at the table, thin, weary, reading a book, her heart gave a jump, very uncharacteristically.

Honestly, where did that come from?

He looked at her and she smiled at him broadly, almost relieved to see him again. And now she had a crush on him. A mayor one.

But the greatest surprise had been to discover he had feelings for her too, and after that first full moon absence, they started spending more and more time together.

Since she was being honest, she could not say it surprised her much the first time he kissed her. What left her breathless and with a wild pounding heart had been the kiss itself and everything that came after it.

She had never believed Remus could be such a caring, loving, passionate man. And she could barely believe that it was she he had chosen to be with.

She could honestly say she had never been so happy before.

-

With an impatient wave she shove her lifeless mousy brown hair out of her face and glared at Remus from across the empty sitting room. With a deep sigh she forced herself to lie.

"Leave, then. Honestly, I couldn't care less!"


End file.
